songs of tender reminiscence
hopeful of a chance to relive
particular present excesses of presence
tie me to the absolutely absence of the once lived

to live to lived
implicit in the thoughts of the everyday
i found, am finding a voice to articulate
the explicitly indeterminable complex

trees must not be understood as only root to crown
trees are more complex than that

do i have the words to speak?
do i have the words to write?
too strong to carry on,
this force of multiple significations

without death, I am nothing.
let violence overwhelm me once again
and again,
the violence of selves
for the sake of creative rediscovery

if i ain't got you,
there is always another.
the mysterious always Other.
who follows me in my superficial journey to my ultimate negation
a positive negation.

killing me slowly, then, with a song.
of noises, high and low notes, melodies and counterpoints, depression and euphoria

absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
the heart changes.

and pushes me to the other side
the always other side
and tender is the violent act
so tender it gently sings me a lullaby
and i sleep with such peacefulness
i sleep to retreat from the day's violence
and to wake with an addition and a subtraction
and everything, everyone and everywhere;
everytime
the waking is the sleeping is the waking
to say farewell is to greet

adieu -
to say goodbye but to allow one to be greeted by God