Most Wumbo Script EVER. Wumbo good.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV
[originally aired January 21, 2002]
Storyboard Directors: Jay Lender and Sam Henderson
Storyboard Artist: Caleb Meurer
Writers: Jay Lender, Sam Henderson, and Merriwether Williams
Animation Director: Sean Dempsey
Creative Director: Derek Drymon

[the Krusty Krab]
Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life.
Mermaid Man: Through the double-doors... away! [he charges in, knocking away two fish who were going to exit]
Narrator: And also these guys. [Barnacle Boy walks in]
Barnacle Boy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaid Man!
Mermaid Man: N-nonsense, Barnacle Boy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against eeeeevil!
Barnacle Boy: What a dive.
Mermaid Man: To the register... away! [they approach the register]
Squidward: [exasperated] Can I help you. [a 'ding' goes off]
Mermaid Man: A double Krabby Patty and coral bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.
Barnacle Boy: [hurried] It's not for the toy, I just... [he stammers] I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?
Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.
Mermaid Man: You got it, bucky. [he pulls off one of his bra-shells, opens it, and pulls out a metal nut] Will this cover it?
Squidward: No.
Barnacle Boy: Listen, Big Nose, this guy has been saving your butt since you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something?
Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling Big Nose, Big Nose? [they press their noses together, 'hmm'ing and flaring their nostrils. Barnacle Boy takes off his hat, pulls out a $5 bill and tosses it over to the register]
Barnacle Boy: Well next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us! [he walks off]
Squidward: I'm shakin'. Hmm, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. [the wall next to the ordering window presses in with Sponge's imprint, and then Sponge bursts through]
Spongebob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?! Must... get... autograph! [his one hand reaches out and tears a pen out of Tom's shirt pocket. The other grabs a piece of paper outside the restaurant]
Mermaid Man: If you wanna grow up strong like me... you gotta leave room for seconds. [he pulls up his shirt a bit, revealing a gigantic gut] Here comes our waiter! [it's Sponge, psychotically running toward them]
Spongebob: Aaaauuuutoooograaaph!
Barnacle Boy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid!
Mermaid Man: Quick lad, to the invisible- [his pants and belt fall down] -boatmobile! Away! [he grabs his pants and holds them up, leaving his belt behind. The two run out of the restaurant]
Barnacle Boy: Where'd we park?
Mermaid Man: Uhh...
Spongebob: Can I have your autograph?! Can I have your autograph?! Can I.. they're gone! [he notices Mermaid Man's belt and gasps] Mermaid Man's belt!
Mermaid Man: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm! [he pulls it out, and makes as to press a button. A car flickers in and out of visibility three times, making beeps as well] There she is! [they run over and jump in the car. Barnacle Boy hits the seat divider]
Barnacle Boy: Yeeow! I told you we shoulda got the automatic! [Sponge runs after them]
Spongebob: Hey guys! Wait up! [slow-motion] I've got something for you... [he pulls out the belt]
Barnacle Boy: Floor it! [the boatmobile drives away]
Spongebob: You forgot your belt! You forgot... [he looks at belt in awe] Mermaid Man's secret utility belt! The emblem of submersible justice! For sixty-five years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations... and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands! Well, I guess I should return it. [he starts to take a step, then dashes back to the kitchen, he now has the belt on] Or not! [he giggles] I could just hang onto it 'till after work... All alone with Mermaid Man's belt. I wonder what this button does! [he presses something on the belt. A green light flashes out and zaps a barrel of pickles, which becomes tiny. He picks up the barrel on one finger] Whoa! The small ray! Hee... [Squid is at the register, talking to a muscular fish]
Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. [he starts to hand him the shake, but he is startled by a loud noise from the kitchen and Sponge's giggle. The shake lands on the guy's head, the guy punches him and leaves. There are more flashes, noises, and giggles from the kitchen] Grr... [in the kitchen, Sponge places a tiny Krabby Patty on a cockroach's back]
Spongebob: There you go. [the cockroach walks off] Come again, sir. [Squid barges in]
Squidward: Spongebob, what's going on in here? Huh? [he notices everything is tiny: Sponge's hat, his spatula, then he sees the cockroach eating a tiny patty at a tiny table] Why's everything all... tiny? [Sponge shifts the "M" on the belt away]
Spongebob: I don't know.
Squidward: What do you got there?
Spongebob: Nothing.
Squidward: No, really? [Sponge backs against the wall]
Spongebob: Nothing.
Squidward: You've got something alright, let's see it! [he grabs the belt]
Spongebob: No! NO! [Squid sees the "M" and gasps]
Squidward: Is that Mermaid Man's belt?
Spongebob: Yes.
Squidward: Wow! I can't believe he'd lend it to you!
Spongebob: Me- uh...either. [he laughs nervously. Squid gasps in mock astonishment]
Squidward: He didn't lend it to you, did he?
Spongebob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: You stole it!
Spongebob: Please don't tell!
Squidward: Oh. I'm telling.
Spongebob: Squidward, if Mermaid Man finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!
Squidward: Uh-oh! There's the phone! [he points at it]
Spongebob: Don't!
Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! [he walks towards it]
Spongebob: No!
Squidward: I'm getting closer to the phone! [he moves his tentacle towards it]
Spongebob: Do-o-o-on't!
Squidward: And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for... [Sponge starts tearing himself in half]
Spongebob: I'm begging you! [Squid picks up the phone]
Squidward: Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermai- [a green ray of light shoots Squid and he is shrunken. He lands on a little table] What did- what?- [the phone hits Squid] Ow!
Mermaid Man: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Squidward: What did you do to me?
Spongebob: I'm sorry Squidward, but you made me do it!
Squidward: Spongebob, if you don't return me to normal size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!
Spongebob: Uh... uh... OK, uh...
Squidward: I said now!
Spongebob: Uh... [cut to the belt, with dozens of switches, buttons, dials, and gauges] Uh...
Squidward: Do you hear me?! [a ray of light zaps Squid, he now has about many, many eyes] Holy fish paste! Get it off me! Get it off me! [he flings all the extra eyes off like a wig] Dah! [he pants] Don't you know how to work that thing?
Spongebob: Uh, I can do it! [Sponge keeps zapping Squid, but Squid keeps getting malformed and tortured. Eventually, Squid, who is now charred, has had enough]
Squidward: Stop! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaid Man and-
Spongebob: NO! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience... [cut to Sponge running up to Pat's rock] Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick! [Pat is sleeping with his face on his rock. He wakes up and stammers]
Patrick: Oh, hi, Spongebob. [Sponge waves his arms]
Spongebob: Patrick, I was at work and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy came, and I got this belt, and look! [he pulls Squid out of his pocket. Pat gasps]
Patrick: A Squidward action figure! Let me play with it!
Spongebob: No, Patrick!
Patrick: Fighter pilot! [he makes lots of fighter pilot noises] Dive bomb! [he makes Squid do a dive bomb]
Spongebob: Patrick! [Pat holds up his fist]
Patrick: And here comes a giant fist!
Spongebob: Patrick, NO! [Pat stops] That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.
Patrick: Oh. [he pauses, then holds up his fist again] And here comes a giant fist! [Sponge screams]
Spongebob: Pat, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life.
Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day... [romantic music plays]
Spongebob: You think so?
Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size. [the music stops and Pat pulls out a pickle] Like this pickle! See? They like each other!
Squidward: N-n-n-n-n-no! [Pat pushes Squid and the pickle together and makes kissing sounds] Ick.
Spongebob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing! [Pat leans foward]
Patrick: Lemmie take a look at it... hmm... [he points at it using Squid] You know what the problem is?
Spongebob: What?
Patrick: You got it set to "M" for mini, [he turns the "M" upside down, making it a "W"] when it should be set to "W" for wumbo.
Spongebob: Patrick, I don't think wumbo is a real word.
Patrick: Come on. You know: I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo, wumbo, wumboing... [he rambles on]
Squidward: [to himself] I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.
Patrick: ...wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade, Spongebob!
Spongebob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.
Patrick: Well alright then. Let 'er rip! [Sponge presses a button on the belt. Green light shoots out and zaps Pat, he is shrunken down next to Squid on the ground in front of his rock] It worked!
Spongebob: Oh no!
Patrick: Look, Spongebob's giant! Can I be giant next?
Spongebob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!
Patrick: You're kidding! [he pulls out his pickle, which shrunk along with him] Good thing I still got this pickle! [he kisses it three times]
Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaid Man!
Spongebob: NO! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then, you'll be safe in this jar. [he pulls out a jar and puts Pat and Squid in]
Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh, it's like a pun or something. Heh-heh.
Spongebob: [to himself, sweating] It's only two people... no big deal, nobody else saw it... [Sandy walks up]
Sandy: Howdy, Spongebob!
Spongebob: Aah! Sandy! [he zaps Sandy and she shrinks]
Sandy: What did... for cryin o'... What did y'all do to me?
Spongebob: I'm sorry Sandy! [he puts Sandy in the jar] Mermaid Man came in and- [Larry walks up]
Larry: Hey Spongebob. [Sponge screams, shrinks him, and catches him in the jar. Some guy walks up]
Guy: Hey Spongebob. [Sponge screams, shrinks him, and catches him in the jar. Nancy walks up]
Nancy: Hi Spongebob. [Sponge screams, shrinks her, and catches her in the jar, then runs off]
Puff: Hello Spongebob. [Sponge screams, shrinks her, and catches her in the jar. Scooter and his friends run by]
Scooter: Sponge-dude! [Sponge screams, shrinks them, and catches them and their surf-gear in the jar. Exterior shot of the town, where we hear people greeting Sponge and him shrinking them. Cut later, Sponge is in the road of the now barren town trying to squeeze the lid of the now extremely full jar down]
Spongebob: Woo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.
Squidward: Spongebob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
Spongebob: Oh Squidward, he'll be so disappointed...
Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever! [Sponge starts crying]
Spongebob: You don't understand!
Mrs. Squarepants: [in the jar] Spongebob, you need to admit your mistakes! [Sponge stops crying]
Spongebob: Mom?
Mermaid Man: [in the jar] Your mother's right, son. Mermaid Man will understand.
Barnacle Boy: [in the jar] You're Mermaid Man, you old coot!
Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.
Spongebob: Mermaid Man? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and...
Mermaid Man: Oh, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen o- eleventeen twelve, why I believe the president-
Shrunken People: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!
Mermaid Man: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray... let's see, uh.. uh... did you set it to wumbo?
Shrunken People: WHAT?!?! [the jar shakes and the jar pops off, and all of the people shoot out. They land on the ground and form the statement...] GET SPONGEBOB!! [they make battle cries, sort of, and climb up Sponge and crawl into his porous holes]
Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home! [he kicks Sponge's stomach. Sponge jerks, holding his guy]
Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA! [he kicks Sponge's brain, we see an imprint of it in the top of his head]
Mermaid Man: We've been shrinking for years!
Barnacle Boy: But this is ridiculous! [they both kick Sponge's eyes, which pop out of Sponge's head then return into their normal sockets. People keep on attacking Sponge's organs and bones, disfiguring him]
Shrunken People: EVERYTHING'S TOO BIG!!!
Spongebob: I've got it! [cut to Squid and a fish harassing more of Sponge's internal systems. They then see a big flash of green light through one of Sponge's porous holes] Ta-da! [everybody pops their heads out of Sponge's porous holes] Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! [the town is now shrunken. Everybody files out of Sponge] And now, only one more thing to shrink. [he pulls the "M" off the belt and faces it towards himself] Cheese! [he shrinks himself, and finds himself in front of all the other shrunken people]
Squidward: I guess this is okay.
Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?
Nancy: Good idea, Spongebob. [everyone cheers. Exterior of the town. A bus drives by and Plankton gets off with two suitcases. He is now as big as the entire town, although the town is actually as small as him]
Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! [he notices the town] Huh?
END