odd, that despite the death of the author, I should stumble upon these virtual letters written by him, such that I feel compelled to post them for the sake of clarity. I could not agree that these letters are eulogies and requiems. The sentimentality that is embedded in the texts is too deep to allow such a accidental end which would ruin that romantic notion I have of his texts if I had framed them as eulogies. Death, ultimately is white. Every black insistence on death is that resistance to death, and the desire to outlive a cruel and blessed destiny. But the blackness, which simultaneously gives life (of fantasies, imaginations, dreams, etc.) and destroys life (theories, conclusions, endings, etc.), also highlights the deep whiteness of death. White alone does not give itself up as a reading of death. Instead, it is the writing and reading of black on white that shows us how deadly white is. While it is often suggested and somehow true that black is the infinite unknown, instead, why can't the infinite white that screams at you be also a sinister thing? Black almost discourages writing (or possibility) unless you write with white. But white, is like a temptation that never tells you what you are tempted of specifically. Instead it is the temptation to create ex nihilo. Nothing is more fearsome and scary than writing. More often than not, we are tempted to create monsters. Hence, you tremble at the thought of facing nothingness straight in your face. It is so white that you cannot find depth to it, in contrast to black. Perhaps, it is this particular understanding of writing, that in my reading of his letters, I felt the odd sense to give it its natural end, that is the publication of death. While I understand the cruelty in that, it is a necessary evil. If we do not face death face-on, it is to mean that one has not truly lived. The despair that comes with creation ex nihilo is that sense in which you know you are creating on the backdrop of death - you know that at the moment of creation, the creation faces death. Nothing is as real as that. As I write, as it is being written, I am fully prepared to give the words up. I cannot remember them. To read what I have written, is to face it at a different sense of the text. It is simultaneously mine and not mine. This sensation can only be understood after one no longer finds it a despair to write. What keeps writing perpetually around is its capacity to die. Writing gives itself up to writing. Nothing is more violent and productive as writing. That is why the virgin birth of writing is almost impossible. Instead, one discovers our human-ness through writing, the allegory of our creation and destruction. To be born is to be dead. Hence, the born-again is always that which occurs as a post-event of our first death. Pure writing marks us as separate. To write is to shed blood. Having shed all the blood one can have, the only possibility is to die. But we must also understand, his letters were written not because he wanted death alone. The word is always that which produces as much as it destroys. What writing does, ultimately is to teach us about this basic principle of divisions, that each moment of emancipation of writing - as writing appears, we divide the word. We kill as much as we conceive. So when I read his letters, I cried without knowing if it was sadness or happiness that motivated the endless tears. One receives. Nothing can describe that gift. We just receive. Instead of classifying the gift, we are only aware that we are thrust into the whirlpool of the Word, and we chance upon something so wondrous, that only silence can be that moment. You don't talk about it. Birth and Death is not even what matters. Silence is a posteri. It is that which never performs. It is to be otherwise than being dead or alive. We escape from writing. Neither white nor black can touch us. Silence is the holy spirit.

this first letter was part of a collection of drafts found in this blogger account. The owner has since relinquished all control of the account to me. I will post them as and when I feel it deserves coverage, instead of just existing as drafts.